Fire Wolf, Water Guardian
by UltimatePalmTree
Summary: [MULTICHAPTER CRACKFIC] Let's say you're in a predicament, and the only one around to help you out of it is Demyx. Let's just say, it was nice knowin' ya!
1. The Beginning of All Things

**Fire Wolf, Water Guardian**

By UltimatePalmTree

Chapter I

The Beginning of All Things

Demyx fell forwards onto his knees, a look of extreme pain on his face as he did. He was covered in sweat from all the strain, but he wasn't going to give up.

He started the riff of the song again and continued to sing at the top of his lungs, forcing the words out of his throat, giving anyone who might have been listening the impression that he was attempting to give himself laryngitis. "Are you breathin', no? Do the wicked see you! You still breathin', you're makin' me known…"

Demyx leapt up off his feet abruptly, trying to make it a smooth transition from kneeling to standing on the table in the library he was using for his temporary stage. However, Demyx overshot the leap, and landed with his boots hanging a few inches off of the table's edge. The young Organization XIII member yelled abruptly as he stopped strumming and started wind milling his arms rapidly so as to keep his balance.

Needless to say, it didn't work.

The blonde young man fell onto his back onto the smooth, shiny tiles of the floor of the library.

There was a moment's silence before he yelled, "OW!" loudly. It wasn't the first time this had happened, but it had hurt nonetheless.

Demyx rubbed the back of his head with his right hand and sat up slowly. His obnoxiously blue sitar was lying across his stomach, amazingly not touched by the impact. He expected its neck to have snapped in the process of falling, but he guessed that most of the energy had gone through him, leaving his sitar untouched. Either way, he was in pain.

"Demyx?"

The Melodious Nocturne jumped nearly a foot in the air and immediately leapt up to his feet, despite the fact he was still in pain and was beginning to feel lightheaded from all the blood rushing to his feet to level it all out. What the heck was _he_ doing here? Demyx thought Axel was back downstairs, reading some book or something. He thought it would be safe to practice for his gigs in the library. It was quiet, had a nice sound to it, and the walls were fairly sound-proof. Plus, he could do numerous stunts on the tops of bookcases, tables, the balcony and various other places. He didn't quite feel like doing any stunts as of now, but it was good to know they _could_ be done.

"You in here, Demyx?" Axel called. The sound of slow footsteps from outside the slightly ajar door came in.

"Yeah…" Demyx said. He decided it was best to omit the whole falling off of the library table thing for the benefit of his health. "In the library,"

Some kind of sarcastic comment came through the door, barely audible. "Wow, he's _reading_ something… I had no idea he could do that," The sound of footsteps came close to the door before stopping entirely. Then, the white and gold door creaked open slightly and in stepped…

…a wolf.

Demyx's expression turned into a confused one immediately. A _wolf_. A big wolf. It probably would've reached up to Demyx's hips easily. And that was the measurement at its _shoulders_. Despite its unnatural size, it was quite thin and Demyx had a feeling that if he had the urge to pet the wolf, he'd be able to feel his ribcage underneath all the fiery red fur. The head of the wolf was normal enough: red fur like the rest of the body, a faint ring of white around the eyes, and a pair of green markings underneath each eye. A massive mane of red fur accumulated from the top of his head to the space between his shoulder blades and went around the neck in a semi-circle.

Demyx raised his eyebrows incredulously and his jaw slackened slightly. This gave him a slightly dazed look that the wolf did _not_ appreciate. "Dammit, Demyx! Don't just _stand_ there! We're in a fricking _library_, so start searching for the cure!"

"Axel?" Demyx asked, kneeling down so he could look the wolf in the eyes—green, by the way—and cocked his head, "That _is_ you, right?"

If a wolf could have expressed a sarcastic look on its face, Axel did just then. "No, I'm Santa Claus! Now go!"

Demyx still didn't move. Unless you count the fact he got up from his kneeling position and said, "Can I ride you?"

"No! You can't ride me!"

Demyx cocked his head again. "You let _Marluxia_ ride you. So why not _me_?"

If a wolf could've gone pale right then, he would have. "Marluxia is _different_," he growled, bearing the rows of ivory teeth lining his wolf snout, "_You_ are just flat out annoying,"

Demyx finally began to walk off in the other direction, skimming the spines of the multi-colored books lining the library bookcases. He rounded the corner, Axel right on his tail.

* * *

Perhaps Axel's predicament better be explained in further detail. It had started out as any other normal day had usually started out for the pyromaniac: waking up, telling Demyx to get out of his room, go downstairs, eat something and then he'd play it by ear from there. Turns out that today's playing by ear involved Axel finding a note taped to the fridge door. Because Axel's mind was not at its best in the morning (especially when Demyx had been in his room again, playing his sitar insanely), he had to read it several times for the message to sink in.

Or, maybe the reason it didn't sink in was because of what it _said_…

_Axel:_

_The eleven of us had a vote, and decided that we should leave_

_both you and Demyx to watch the castle while we go on our_

_vacation. I'd like to say I'm sorry, but I'm not._

_XOXO,_

Larxene 

Let's see… 'you and Demyx', 'watch the castle', 'go on vacation'…

He was gonna _kill_ Larxene when she came back.

So, for the time being, he decided to ignore Demyx until he could find a nice long length of rope, a chair and some oily rags. He tossed the note aside, and looked through the fridge. He noted that Luxord's poker group hadn't quite finished their drink supply, so Axel shrugged and decided to take one and get himself more awake.

He just happened to pick out a glass bottle with a white Post-it note on it.

_Do not drink this. You will die._

_Not from this, but you will die._

_--Zexion_

_Geez_, what was _with _the Post-it notes? First Larxene, then Zexion…

He took a look at the liquid in the glass bottle. It looked fine, like any other drink he could've picked out from the fridge. He looked at the Post-it note and ripped it off, crumpling it up as he did with the first one. Mistake number thirty-three was that he drank the liquid in the bottle. A few painful minutes later, Axel woke up with a long red tail and a snout full of teeth.

At that point, he heard Demyx yell "OW!" and decided to see what Demyx could do.

If the completely incompetent little musician could do _anything _right…

* * *

The moon was rising when Demyx had finally fallen asleep, head buried in a massive leather tome and drooling. Axel, who was sitting down on the floor next to him, shook his head. _I knew he wouldn't get through that… Imbecile…_ Then he remembered his teeth and decided to apply them to the hand that was hanging down from the edge of the table.

"What was _that_ for!" Demyx yelled, rubbing his hands. Axel had pretty much torn off the black glove protecting his hand in his attack.

"What do you think?" Axel asked cynically. "Did you find anything?"

Demyx shook his head. "Nothing. Who did you say wrote the note?"

"Zexion,"

"Doesn't surprise me. Anyway, I was thinking," Axel snorted. Demyx? _Think_? What was this world _coming_ to? "I was thinking that if we could track down Zexion, he'd tell us something about it,"

"If you can pry it out of his system," Axel rolled his eyes.

"So," Demyx continued, ignoring Axel's sarcastic comments, "we can get Zexy to spill and all will be right with the world! You and me, we'll travel all the worlds if we have to!"

Axel's eyes widened. Him… and _Demyx_… Traveling the worlds to get to Zexion. _Just_ to get to Zexion.

If a wolf could've screamed, Axel would have been doing so.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Um, yah… 'Tis Wolf!Axel chapter one. I've had this idea in my head for so long. I just think Axel sounds like a wolf when he snarls, "_Two!_" at the beginning… That's when Inspiration bit again.

So, umm… Read and review? I do like multi-chapter crackfics… I've already done another for FMA (Tabula Rasa) and this is my second. I'm such an idiot for trying to juggle three stories at one time…

But, I hope you like, 'cause I like the idea of a wolfy Axel… (hugs said pyro wolf) I do not own the pyromaniac known as Axel and the water maniac known as Demyx. I own anything not from KH. Period. If I did, Axel would've been a wolf shapeshifter… XD I also don't own _Voices_, by Disturbed. It was the song Demy was singing. For some odd reason, I can picture him singing this… OO;


	2. The Journey Begins

**Fire Wolf, Water Guardian**

By UltimatePalmTree

Chapter II

The Journey Begins

"_Pack on my back, I wander! Over mountains across the seas! My yearning soul keeps roaming, in the endless search for peace!_"

Axel inwardly groaned. After hearing Demyx strum that stupid sitar of his and sing that song for three days straight, you'd think his vocal chords would get worn out! Apparently, Demyx was the poster child for Energizer batteries… Much to Axel's dismay, the musician wouldn't give up. He just kept going and going and _going_.

And he was supposed to spend who-knew-_how_ long with him until they found the Organization XIII members who had left them behind. _Whatever happened to staying loyal to the pack?_ Axel thought bitterly. Then he realized what he said, _Omigod, I really _am_ a wolf…_

Demyx paused for a second in strumming, singing and walking. "Hm… I _really_ wish we had a map now…"

"You didn't grab one back at _home_!" Axel yelled, whipping around to face him. He was only a few inches shorter than Demyx, so he could easily look Demyx pretty dang close in the eyes if he wanted to. You didn't want to be staring down Axel's snout, especially when said former-Organization-member-turned-wolf was very ticked off at you.

Demyx scratched the back of his head and said, "Well… I didn't think about it… I was kind of busy figuring out where all my gigs this week are…"

Axel's lupine lips pulled apart even more, revealing his wet pink gums. "_Gigs_?" he repeated.

Demyx nodded happily and then pulled out a piece of paper, unfolding it single-handedly. Literally. "Yeah. Gigs. I have a _lot_ of them this week, which is the other reason I decided to help you in this whole mess. But I'd say you picked the wrong guy for the job. Everyone seems to pick me for missions like this… Odd, isn't it?"

"Shut your mouth or I'll throw your ass in the trash!" Axel barked.

Demyx stared at the wolf in confusion before shrugging in a 'whatever' sort of way and folded up the piece of paper, replacing it in his pocket. "Alright. First things first,"

"You're going to get me back to my normal self?" Axel asked.

"Not yet. My first gig is in a place called…" Demyx took it out again and squinted to read his own writing. _I wasn't even aware he could _read_. This week is just_ full_ of freaking surprises…_ Axel thought caustically. He sat down in the middle of the dusty path, staring up at the sky. Did it look like it was about to rain? Dang. Another fun surprise to count on!

"Oh, here we go!" Demyx yelled. "My first gig is in Traverse Town! Now all we need to do is find a path that _leads_ there…"

Axel sighed and lowered himself down all the way and rested his head on his paws. _This is gonna take forever, isn't it?_ He thought. Conveniently, there was a sign post stuck in the exact, dead center of the crossroads. Whether Demyx was smart enough to go and take a look at it, Axel had no clue.

So, the pyrokinetic wolf decided to take matters into his own hands—er, wait… paws. He got up once more and trotted over to the sign, looking at the four different arrows aimed towards each pathway. The one pointing to the World That Never Was was conveniently blank. The others had some sort of writing on them that Axel couldn't distinguish. What the heck? He could read just fine as a human! So why not as a _wolf_?

If this whole 'being illiterate' thing was part of the potion, Axel was going to make Zexion turn him _back_ into a Nobody, and _then_ strangle him with his bare hands. He gloomily trotted back to Demyx's side and huffed at him. "Are you keeping track of who's on my blackmail list?" he asked.

But Demyx wasn't listening. Instead, he was reading the signs, walking slowly around until he got to the place in which he had started. "It's not even on here…" he remarked. "Maybe we're too far south…? Or is it _north_ we're headed? Axel, which way's north from here?"

Axel sighed. This, he decided, was going to take a while.

* * *

When Demyx had finally managed to figure out which way was north, they began heading down the eastern path. The sign pointing that way had said, 'Twilight Town', so that looked promising to Demyx. Plus, they might be able to get some help from the people there. Currently, they were walking along the dirt path, the sun seeming to set farther and farther below the horizon with each step they took. Well, at least the town lived up to its name…

Finally, they came across a massive wooded area, with a sign at the very border of it, proclaiming 'Twilight Town' to be right through the woods. So, they continued, and within a few minutes (if you count about two hours trying to get Demyx out of the _only_ briar patch in the _entire_ woods to be a few minutes) they were at a hole in a cream-colored wall. "Well, _you_ go first, Oh-So-Smart-One," Axel said astringently, bowing as well as a wolf could bow. In short, it looked like he was stretching while sticking his butt way up in the air.

Demyx rolled his eyes, yanked out yet _another_ thorn from his exposed hand and started through the hole. It led to a massive pavilion, colored orange and red in the setting sun's rays. A red trolley rolled past, but no one looked as if they were especially riding it. In fact, everyone seemed content to just laze around and stand there. "This is weird…" Demyx commented to his… _companion_, so to speak.

"Not any weirder than seeing you dance around practically every night with your shirt off and your sitar on," Axel growled. "Let's just find a map and get the heck out of here. We didn't come for sight-seeing,"

Demyx nodded resolutely. "Right,"

Axel _knew_, just _knew_, that Demyx would be ogling over something new in no time flat. But, for the time being, it was good to know he was at least trying.

Demyx was looking at the piece of paper again. "You know, I'm not supposed to be here until the twenty-first of…"

"I DON'T _CARE_ WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AND _WHEN_! I WANT _OUT_ OF THIS BODY!" Axel yelled. It was _definitely_ not a normal occasion when a massive red wolf yelled at you in perfectly good English in the middle of Twilight Town, because many stared.

Just at that instant, three girls walked by, flip-flops smacking against the soles of their feet and the ground. One of the girls—a blonde one—whispered to the other two and they approached Demyx and Axel. "Is that your dog?" the blonde asked.

Demyx paused for a second before saying, "Yup! Sure is!"

"Can we pet him?" the brunette asked.

"Sure!" Demyx said.

Axel gaped at him and, while he was pulled into an embrace by the brunette, said, "I am going to personally murder you, Demyx. You will suddenly spontaneously combust in the middle of the night if I have anything to do with it,"

"Omigod! He's _soooo_ cute!" the raven-haired girl squealed. She pet Axel behind his ears. "How'd you get his fur to stick up like that? It's _sooo_ adorable!"

"Is he a purebred wolf?" the blonde asked as she was trying to get Axel to shake paws with her. "If so, that's hot,"

"Purebred! One hundred percent!"

"I am going to kill you and Zexion personally…" Guess who said this.

"I _love_ dogs!" the brunette continued. "He's _too_ adorable,"

Then they stepped away from Axel, waving to Demyx in a non-committal way. "See ya 'round!"

Before they left, however, all three girls planted a kiss on Axel's nose. They giggled and left Demyx and Axel to their own devices.

"I retract that previous statement," Axel said after a long pause, "I _love_ you,"

* * *

Axel didn't know why the heck he was even _doing_ this. It had to be the most undignified thing that just about anyone could do. But he was tired of hanging around with Demyx and he was _desperate_. If that wasn't a valid enough reason for what he was doing, he didn't know what _was_.

Axel was sitting up on his hind legs, tail wrapped around his legs and forepaws up in the air. He was looking hopefully up at three gullible-looking teenagers sitting on a wall and each eating a light blue Popsicle. He was trying to look as innocent as an anorexic, six-foot-something long wolf could look. With his irresistible green eyes, Axel _knew_ it'd be easy to look innocent.

"Can't I just give him a _little_ bit of my ice cream?" the fat kid in the middle asked.

"He's a _dog_," the lean male said. "Dogs can't have ice cream!"

"He can have mine," the girl said. Axel's ears perked up as she placed it in front of Axel's nose, and the fiery red wolf leaned forwards to get a lick of it.

"Axel! Where are you?"

Stupid Demyx.

Axel looked reproachfully at the direction of the voice, then looked at the Popsicle (which was dripping slowly onto the ground) before dropping back down on his forelegs and trotting away. He found the musician not too long after leaving the three ice cream-wielding teens and growled at him. "You _owe_ me _big_ time,"

"What for now?"

Axel jerked his head in the three teens' direction and said, "Ice cream,"

Demyx looked puzzled before saying, "I don't think wolves can _have_ ice cream... Anyway! I found a solution to our problem!"

Axel perked up. "You found Zexion?"

"No... But we can get to Traverse Town from here! There's a train that runs tomorrow morning. Only problem is, we don't have any munny,"

"So, what do you intend to do?"

"Well, I was thinking I could get a temporary job here..."

Axel snorted in disbelief before starting to laugh. Any day when Demyx did an honest day's work was _definitely_ the start of the apocalypse. And any day when Demyx actually finished _said_ job was the apocalypse coming upon them as they spoke. "Some guy needs a street performer, so I was thinking..."

"_That's_ what you were doing while I was begging for food? Looking at some _more_ places you can get gigs at?"

"And there's an added bonus," Demyx pointed out. "I said I had a pet wolf and—"

"I am," Axel said, drawing himself up to his full quadruped height and puffing out his chest indignantly, "in no way, shape or _form_ your _pet_,"

"And the guy instantly hired us. Five hundred munnies for five or six good performances. Each. All tonight,"

Axel sighed. He removed Zexion from the top of his blackmail list and instead put Demyx up. As if being a four-legged dog wasn't enough...

* * *

"_Dreaming of screaming! Someone kick me out of my mind, I hate these thoughts I can't deny!_"

Axel rolled his eyes. That was all he was dreaming about now. He was dressed in some gaudy type of costume, with lots of jewelry around his legs and neck and lots of crusty pastel paint on his body and face. Furthermore, they weren't even done with the twelfth performance (_"Only five or six good performances", my ass,_ was Axel's comment), and Axel was starting to feel tired of repeatedly going up on his hind legs and jumping around like he was a maniac. The jewelry _also_ played a part in his exhaustion; all of it was wearing him down.

All in all, Axel guessed he wore about sixty pieces of jewelry. That wasn't even an exaggeration. Gold and silver collars encircled his neck; newly added earrings weighed down his ears, bracelets—literally one after another—were on his thin legs up to his shoulders. A brace of some sort fit snugly on his stomach, and (for added mysticism, he guessed) there were authentic, one hundred percent _real_ gemstones glued onto his fur.

Once again, he was gonna kill Demyx.

"_You will take the body parts and put 'em up on the wall, and bring the dark disaster!_" Demyx (thank any god you believe in) finished the song. _Finally_. Axel dropped down on all fours as someone tossed a small yellow orb of munny at his feet. Demyx was _clearly_ enjoying himself as he took out the leather satchel from his pocket and started gathering munny orbs. "Thank you! Thank you! You've all been wonderful tonight!" he was saying.

Axel thought, _If they weren't giving him munny, he would be singing _quite_ a different song, wouldn't he now?_

"That was my last performance tonight. No more encores, but you can come to the sandlot on the twenty-first of October and see me then! Night, everybody!" Demyx flashed a grin and, once he picked up every single bit of munny he could fit in that sack (which was a lot), twirled around on his heel and marched off towards the shop where the man who had hired them was watching.

"We're done here, right?" Axel asked. "No more surprise performances like _last_ time?"

Demyx nodded. "We should have enough money right here," he said as he pointed to the sack in his hand. "We just need to get the jewelry back to the guy and we can relax for the rest of the night!"

"Good. I want every single one of these vile things off me. _Now_,"

Demyx and the man had a few words before starting to take off the collars, then the bracelets. "And the paint _should_ come off, right?" he asked.

"It ought to. It did before..."

Axel shot Demyx a glare that said, _If you can't get this off me, I will shove a rod up your sorry rear._ Demyx, however, seemed oblivious to this glare as he slipped a pair of Axel's earrings into his pocket. Everything else—including, thank God, that awful brace that constricted his middle—went to the guy. It was then Demyx and Axel decided to check out the train schedule.

"Right here, see?" Demyx said, pointing at a handwritten slot that said, 'Traverse Town' and traced his finger to a time chart. In the fourth slot was, in the same print as before, '7h45'.

"Good luck getting me up at that time," Axel said, starting to walk away. He trotted to the ledge that overlooked the ocean and said, "Speaking of which, where are we staying tonight?"

Silence. "Staying?"

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Ho. Lee. Crap.

Ten almost _instantaneous_ responses from you guys. Wow. That's the most I've ever gotten on one chapter for a story. I cannot convey how much glee is built up inside me. First, I'd like to thank my beta, KuroNekoNya! I know I've already thanked you fifty four and a half million times, but I can't thank you enough! Second off, I'd like to thank my two muses: Inspiration and Donovan. Inspiration bit me and made me write this, and Donovan kind of made me write it all down. Third off, I'd like to thank all the people who reviewed. They are all listed here so I can thank each and everyone individually.

**KuroNekoNya:** I'm glad you like it! I really wasn't sure what people would think, so I kind of took a risk… But thanks again for betaing me! (hugs)

**critical-blow:** It _does_ seem like something you'd write… XD I've always seen Axel as a wolfy… I love the wolfy Axel…

**SakuraXRiku:** Thanks! I'll try and be quicker in my updates… I've got a massive writer's block, what with Inspiration and Donovan not wanting to remove themselves from the couch…

**Hikari: **I think Larxene would _totally_ write that on a post-it note…

**Sahxyel:** Yah, the Post-it notes _are_ the most ignored paper in the world… They are _so_ unappreciated XD.

**Earthpaw:** I was hoping someone would like it… I'm pleased with the reaction it's getting!

**ChibiBlueAngel:** Trust me, this is gonna continue for a _long_ time…

**Erin Elric:** Well, someone shares my opinion on red wolf Axel!

**Neassa:** Woot! I like making people happy! I love wolves and Axel and Demyx. All them in one crack-filled fic, that's just too much to bear…

**Kingdom Alchemist:** Cool name! I think an Axel wolf costs one hundred and twenty-five munnies, but I think I'd be willing to pay to have Axel in my home as my guard wolf. XD

So, yeah. It's… um… chapter two… Yah… Pretty much all I can really _say_ right now. Except thanks for all your support and reviews. Man, I was surprised. One after another, they kept coming! Woot! (hugs all) Free cookies for all y'all!

Also, I don't own Kingdom Hearts in any shape/form, and I don't own _Soul of a Vagabond_ by Stratovarius (the first song Demy sang) and I don't own _Dreaming _by System of a Down. Yes, that really _is_ a song. Currently my favorite one, too… What? Don't look at me like that… You're freaking me out… But can anyone else see Demyx singing that? It seems like a Demyx-type song… XD


	3. Traverse from Twilight

Fire Wolf, Water Guardian 

By UltimatePalmTree

Chapter III

Traverse from Twilight

A muscle in Axel's cheek twitched, almost on instinct. "_What_ do you mean by '_staying_'?" he managed to growl out. When Demyx was silent and shuffled his feet uncomfortably, Axel yelled, "You tryin' to _tell_ me that you have nowhere for us to _stay_!" Axel had officially reached his breaking point; all the pent-up rage about being a wolf, dancing around for the last three hours with unwanted jewelry on him, being pushed around by Demyx, and not being able to have _ice cream_ was finally surfacing. He growled, bristling and starting to drool as he summoned his chakrams.

The red and silver weapons appeared on the ground next to his paws. Axel growled in frustration, glared at Demyx, and started to try and get the freaking _chakrams_ onto his _paws_. Only problem is, they didn't seem to want to obey him.

Demyx finally piped up.

"No opposable thumbs,"

Axel glared at Demyx (probably not for the last time) and the chakrams disappeared in a fiery blaze. "No matter. Even if I can't hold my chakrams, I can _still_ burn you! _Burn, baby_!" And thus, Axel willed the flames to rush forth at Demyx.

Except… nothing happened.

"What the _heck_!" Axel yelled angrily. He willed the fires of his rage to scorch the musician once more, but they _still_ wouldn't obey him. Demyx, now seeing there was nothing to fear, started towards the wolf and crouched down in front of him, looking him right in the eyes.

"Looks like the potion blocks your magic," was his comment. "I don't think you can use it…"

"_Brilliant_ deduction, Sherlock Demyx!" Axel yelled. "_Now_ what!"

"I don't know…"

Axel sighed. "Must I make _all_ the decisions? Am I the only one here who possesses half of a brainstem? _We_ will _find_ somewhere to _stay_ for the _night_!" Axel said all this like he was speaking to a two-year-old. At this, he stormed off towards the nearest path away from the tram common. Demyx, thoroughly confused (after all, he just had a wolf yell at him), started after him. "Alright… Need a hotel… Where would there be a hotel?"

Demyx shrugged. "Dunno,"

"Wasn't _asking_ you…" Axel said.

"Besides… I don't think any hotels here will accept us… Or, rather, you. You are, after all, a dog…"

Axel stopped and turned back to Demyx. A steady stream of foamy saliva was coming from his mouth. "Well, look on the bright side!" Demyx said happily. "At least it's a clear night… Doesn't look like…"

Right on cue, a massive clap of thunder split the night and rain fell all over Demyx's Happy Parade.

"Um…"

"_Don't_ even _go _there…"

* * *

"_And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad… The dreams in which I'm dyin' are the best I've ever had. And I find it hard to tell you; I find it hard to take. When people run in circles, it's a very, very mad world…_"

Demyx strummed slowly on his sitar, singing to himself and Axel. There was no one else around, since it was two things. (A) It was raining and; (B) it was night. Draw your own conclusions. The two of them had managed to make a massive—I mean _massive_—cardboard box into a makeshift home, placed a few blankets on the 'floor' (Demyx had some in his satchel) and were now lying around doing nothing. Unless you count Demyx singing, which Axel didn't really count as doing anything helpful.

So, there they were: waiting for the train for Traverse Town to come the next morning. Only one problem: it was the middle of the freaking _night_. Morning didn't even look _close_. Ah, yes. 'Twas going to be a _long_ journey with Demyx. A _long_, long journey…

"Will you quit strumming? I'm going to bite off the neck of that stupid instrument and feed it to you!" Axel growled.

Demyx _finally_ stopped the music and looked at Axel, who was lying down in a crescent shape on the blanket. "There's nothing else to do,"

"Well, maybe if we had gotten to the station _earlier_, we wouldn't have been so _screwed_! We would've gotten our tickets and we would be in Traverse Town right now! What is _wrong_ with you, Demyx!" Axel tried kicking the musician's rear end (in the literal sense) and rolled onto his stomach. Only he didn't want his tummy rubbed.

Demyx looked at Axel's chest before placing his left hand on it and petting Axel slightly. "Get your hand _off_ me,"

The human retracted his hand and placed it back on the sitar. "You let _Xigbar_ pet you, so why can't—"

"When did I _ever_ let Xigbar pet me! Holy crap, Demyx! Are you a fricking stalker or something?"

"No, but I'm just _saying…_"

"Demyx." Pause. "Enough is enough. I don't want and-or _need_ a pet. Alright? Good boy, Demyx. Donut for you tomorrow," Axel rolled over onto his side and huffed.

Demyx shrugged. A moment of sheer, blissful silence…

"_Memmm-reeees! All aloooone innnnn the moooonliiiight! I can smiiiiiile at the ooooold daaaaysssss; I was beauuuuuuutiful then!_"

"Hey! Shut up!" Something fairly heavy landed on the 'roof' of the 'house'. It wouldn't have been funny, except for the fact whatever it was landed right above Demyx's head and caused the roof to cave in slightly so whatever it was smashed Demyx on the head.

A _long_ pause. "You know what, Axel?"

"Mm?"

"I think I'm gonna go to bed now,"

"Good boy. Another donut for you,"

* * *

Morning _finally_ came.

Axel was unceremoniously woken up by Demyx prodding the area around his eyes with a long and particularly pointed stick, causing the wolf to snap at it, snapping the branch in half neatly. "You up yet, Axel?" he asked in his annoyingly cheerful voice. It _has_ to be _illegal_ in some worlds for somebody to be _that_ much of a morning person _this _early…

Axel sighed and said, "_Yes_,"

"Good! 'Cause I woke up early and got the tickets and we're all set!"

Axel rolled over onto his back to look at Demyx. "You bought a _ticket_ for a wolf,"

"Well, _yeah_… I don't think they'd let you on without one…"

"Don't think they'd let me on _period_," Axel growled.

"They might," Demyx shrugged. "Alright… sitar… blanket… satchel… Yup, I think we're all set!"

_Joy. I can barely stop myself from jumping up and down with glee… I do not know _how_ I am containing myself…_ Axel pulled himself slowly onto his feet. The ground—albeit with a cardboard box on it—wasn't the best surface to lie down on. Axel guessed it was because he had spent most of his life as a human and was used to using a bed. Whoa, that did _not_ come out right…

"So, what's on our agenda for today?" Axel asked as the two of them walked, retracing their steps from last night. Being a wolf had its definite advantages. One was that he could smell just about _everything_. The musty scent of the rain clung to the ground and buildings, and the scents of someone's breakfast wafted through the air, reminding him of his hunger.

"Well, we're definitely going to Traverse Town. These tickets cost a lot,"

"How much?" Axel—for some _odd_, unexplainable reason—didn't believe him.

Demyx thought. "A hundred munnies. Each."

Axel nodded. "Right, Demyx. _Riiiight_…"

"And we have leftover munny!"

"I would assume so,"

"So, we could probably get a decent hotel room, a few potions and elixirs and stuff like that along the way, and food. You'd like that, wouldn't you, Axel?"

Axel couldn't answer at that moment, as his mouth had just filled with drool.

"And then we can juggle some of the concert stuff with searching for Zexion! Maybe they _did_ go there… They didn't say anything on the note, did they?"

Axel shook his head.

Demyx continued gibbering like this until they got to the train station, where they found the train—T9—and boarded it. Surprisingly, there were few people on it except himself and Axel. If you could call Axel a person… Then Demyx was strangely silent.

Axel took a look at the people he was quarantined with. A man was sitting at the other end of the car, holding a little kid with odd black _claws_ for hands and saying, "I wanna pet the puppy doggie!" in his annoying little voice. Axel shuddered inwardly; those claws looked painful. He turned his head to the other people on the train with him and Demyx: an old man reading a newspaper, a woman eating an apple or some such fruit, and a boy with a satchel and a package next to him. For the most part, he guessed that everyone except for the kid with the claws would be quiet, and settled down at Demyx's feet.

* * *

"Mommy, I wanna pet the puppy doggie!"

Axel was jolted awake by the train hitting a sudden bump. It was considerably darker outside, and the evening star was in the horizon. He looked around the train and saw that all except for the kid with the claws had gone._ Mommy? MOMMY! _Axel took one look at the man who was holding the kid. _That guy's a freaking fully-grown _man_! What the heck! _He shook his head and looked up at his 'master'. Demyx, the lazy little frigg, was lying on the hard plastic seat and drooling onto his hoodie-sleeved arm.

"Hey," Axel said, sitting up so he could lick Demyx's exposed hand. "Wake up,"

Demyx snorted slightly before rolling onto his back and muttering, "But I don't _want _to hold the kitty, Xigbar… I don't wanna…"

Axel rolled his eyes and nudged Demyx's hand once again. "You don't have to hold the freaking kitty!" he hissed. "Just get up!"

Demyx shirked his responsibilities. "Demyx!" Axel barked, and raised himself up on his hind legs before pressing them down on Demyx's face.

"Oww!" The ninth Organization member reached out blindly and shoved Axel off him by pushing at his chest. "I'm awake! I'm awake…" At this, Demyx slowly sat up, righting himself and stroking the cuts inflicted by Axel's claws. "That wasn't necessary, you know…"

"What? The other option was pissing on your face, but I didn't think you'd quite appreciate that one,"

Demyx shot Axel a glare as the kid came over. "Doggie!" He threw himself around Axel's neck and said, "Can I pet the doggie?" Demyx looked like he was going to say 'no' at first, and then his features twisted into a pleasant grin … with some _very _sadistic overtones.

"Sure!" he said after a few seconds. "Pet the doggie all you want! He _loves_ being pet on the head, especially behind the ears and on the neck!"

The kid laughed happily into Axel's hear, making the wolf believe that he had succeeded in shattering his eardrum and making his other ear ring incessantly. "Puppy doggie!" he cried.

_Awww… And Demyx was almost off the hit list, too…_

* * *

They had, after fifteen minutes of being poked and prodded by the kid (leaving no less than five hundred scratches all over the wolf's face), _finally_ reached Traverse Town. The kid had walked back to his 'mother' and the two of them left before Demyx attempted to gather everything up off the seat. "Did you notice something awry right there!" Axel hissed at Demyx. "The kid called the guy _Mommy_!"

"I'm sure it was just a slip of the tongue," Demyx assured him, although he didn't sound too positive.

"Demyx! Are you sure of that! I mean, if that's possible… Then…"

"Are you getting all freaked out about that time I found Marluxia and you in the bedroom? 'Cause I don't think it can happen…"

Demyx finally gathered everything and they stepped off of the train and near the gate of Traverse Town. "And so, our journey begins!"

"Poetic," Axel said sarcastically. "Did you get it off the milk carton?"

Demyx glared at Axel and started walking towards the gate. It was massive, and behind it was Demyx's supposed 'world of adventure'. Axel, however, wasn't so sure of it. It looked like a fairly boring place to be, what with it being night and all. Either way, there probably wasn't a lot to be done anyways…

The doors opened, and their adventure truly begun…

Or, at least, until Demyx abruptly yelled, "Dammit! I've got gum on my shoe!"

**

* * *

**

**Author's Notes**

I have a _lot_ to say this chapter!

First off, a disclaimer. As usual, I don't own anything except for OCs, and there _was_ an OC in here. It was the kid, Donovan (also one of my muses, though he's eighteen in actuality) and the man holding him actually _was_ his mother… It's a joke between KuroNekoNya and me 'bout Dorchette (Donovan's mother) and Greed from FMA… If you wanna know, PM me sometime. I don't own the two songs featured here: _Mad World_ by Gary Jules (anyone hear of it?) and _Memories_ from Cats.

Second off, did anyone catch the _Ghost in the Shell_ reference? I doubt it, since it's kind of obscure, but it _is_ there! Free cookies for anyone who can find it!

Third (and probably final), review responses. Once again, I thank you all for your continuing support. 'Cause, without y'all, this chapter wouldn't be up! Trust me; I would've taken the story down a _long_ time ago… But, since people seem to love the adventures of Axel and Demyx, I guess I shall continue.

**Neassa:** Axel deserves ice cream! Even if he _is _a wolf, he deserves at least a lick or two! Maybe I'll give him a bit of mine… Yeah, Demyx _is_ a blonde! XD I'm blonde, too, but I don't take any offense. In fact, I agree with ya one hundred percent!

**ShadowShapeshifterAndHerCat:** 'Course I'm gonna do more soon! Axel's too cute to be left for long. Besides, I think if they don't find Zex and the antidote, Axel will try and rip my face off… Nice doggie…

**Nadia: **I almost feel sorry for him, too. Keyword right there? Almost. Axel may be a freak wolf, but he's still kinda cute as a freak wolf! Hopefully Demyx doesn't sell him to a side show…

**Litwolf689:** I _love_ wolves, too! They're so cute and fuzzy and awesome… But enough fangirlish ranting on my part; I will be writing _lots_ more!

**Miss Zen:** I hoped I was getting their personalities right. I was sure about Axel, but I wasn't so sure about Demyx. Well, I seem to be doing a very good job with them… Yay! I tried to choose song lyrics that I could picture Demyx singing… Especially in certain situations.

**Sahxyel:** Yup. Axel had to _really_ restrain himself. Didn't do a good job in this chappie, but turns out he can't use magic! Poor Axel wolf… I just made it five times worse for him.

**Koi:** Wow! Someone agrees with me 'bout Axel sounding like a wolf! I didn't think anyone would! Anyway, Axel says thank you for your condolences, and he got Demyx back _real_ good… (points to Demyx curled up in the corner, shaking)

**Kingdom Alchemist:** Yup! Demyx can stay on one thing for a _really_ long time, can't he? Well, as a wolfy, what can you really do? XD I've always wanted to include a scene with Wolf!Axel begging for food, so this is the result! Initially, Axel was gonna succeed, but he didn't in the final draft… Poor Axel-kins…

**Not a GeishaGurl:** I like fire, too, actually! But doesn't look like Axel's gonna be able to use it unless he figures out how to hold two sticks in his paws. But, to quote the ever-loveable Demyx: "No opposable thumbs."

**rikaori:** Thanks a bunch! Makes me happy to see people enjoying this fic… I agree, anything dealing with Wolf!Axel is _love_.

So, that's it, friends. If ya wanna see more of Axel and Demyx (not necessarily in that order, mind you), just leave a review for your friend! If I forgot someone, I am sorry, but I thank you as well! Until chapter four, which should be up sooner than you think!


	4. Misadventures in Traverse Town

Fire Wolf, Water Guardian 

By UltimatePalmTree

Chapter IV

Misadventures in Traverse Town

After Demyx had successfully levered the offending piece of gum off his shoe and cast the stick off to the side, the two of them sat down on the steps and the musician was squinting down at the piece of paper while humming _Want_. Axel was only being quiet because Demyx had somehow managed to buy some bacon for him. After a few minutes of silence, he folded the note again and said, "I'm supposed to perform in the Second District. Where would _that_ be?"

Axel shrugged and wolfed—no pun intended—down more bacon from the package. "Maybe there's a map?" Demyx suggested. Axel _was_ going to respond with some snide comment about grabbing a map before they left, but then remembered that Demyx had the munny, and it would be odd to have a wolf go up to someone in a store and ask where the bacon was. So, he kept his head down and mouth (technically) shut.

At this, Demyx rose in a slight daze, and started wandering around the so-called 'First District' of Traverse Town, looking at any possible surface for a map. Finally, there was a yell of "YES! _YES!_" from near the massive door. When Axel managed to look up from his now empty package of bacon, Demyx was doing a dumb little happy dance. "I found a map! I found a _freaking map_!" he was yelling.

_Stupid Demyx… _Axel thought, languidly getting up and leaving Demyx's satchel and sitar by the stairs. When he joined the musician, Demyx was _still_ doing the happy dance. "Demyx, would you be so kind so as to _calm down and READ IT_!" Axel roared. At this, Demyx stopped and turned to face the map, still bouncing on the balls of his feet.

After a few minutes, Demyx said, "Ya know _what_? This map doesn't help at all. Look at it. It just shows the three little district signs, and three little dotted lines connecting them. Sure, there are some pretty stars, but that doesn't do anything to help you find your way…"

Axel sighed, walked behind him and pushed Demyx towards the sign, using the hunched-over Organization member as a foot stool so he could see it himself. Now, if you remember correctly, Axel is illiterate as a wolf. Even if he could read the cryptic symbols on the little icons (which were really just the numbers '1', '2', and '3'), he wouldn't be able to figure out which way was right and which way was left using _this_ map.

"Screw it, Demyx. It doesn't _mean_ anything… We'd get better results from a tarot card deck," Axel grunted as he got off Demyx.

"We could ask Luxord!" Demyx exclaimed as he got up.

"That would require us being in the close vicinity of Luxord to _begin with!_ And, since they are on an apparent vacation, Luxord is _nowhere in sight_!"

Demyx wagged a finger at Axel and said, "They never _said_ where they were going, now did they? So, they _could_ be here!"

Axel cocked both his head and a disbelieving eyebrow. Why anyone would want to stay more than three hours in this place was beyond him. "So, why don't we start looking for them right now?" he suggested.

Demyx shrugged. "After my concert," was his response. He turned on his heel and started back towards the sitar and satchel by the stairs.

"What?" Axel asked. "You have done nothing but put your freaking concerts before me every single place we went! If you were actually tryingto help me, you would actually help try and get my regular body back! But _noooo_," This last word accidentally turned into a howl, of which Axel corrected immediately. "You have to go around and play your sitar while I sit here miserable!"

Demyx had paused in walking, and turned around slowly. His eyes were merely slits now, and his mouth was set into a slight snarl that would've looked perfect on Axel's lupine façade. Demyx only said one thing.

"Bite me,"

* * *

And Axel _did_.

Well, the wolf _tried_, at least. Give him some credit. All that ensued next was a chase between the enraged wolf and the sitar player, which proved rather interesting to outside viewers. Had there been any outside viewers in the pavilion of the First District, they would have thought so, too.

Well, maybe there was _one_.

What appeared to be a lithe shadow in corporeal form came from the darkened alleyway of Traverse Town's First District. It was obviously human… or _was_ obviously human, with 'was' as the operative word. The creature was crawling around on all fours and the previously human hands and feet were now talons made out of pure darkness. A pair of antennae came from the creature's head, and they twitched slightly every so often. A pair of golden eyes peered out from behind shaggy black hair, watching as Axel chased Demyx.

It twitched in an almost instinctive way as it slowly made its way towards the pavilion, never taking its eyes off the two running around. Finally, it reached the edge of the stairs, where it promptly sat down and cocked its head at them like a confused dog. It watched as Demyx yelled as Axel came closer to his rear end, and then looked down at the stairs in front of him. A bag and an instrument of some sort were lying there, doing nothing.

The creature got up and started down the steps towards the bag and the instrument. Carefully and with deliberate slowness, it eased one clawed hand into the bag and felt around for anything valuable. Pieces of paper… An earring… A blanket… Nothing new.

_Then_ the greedy little beast found Demyx's stash of munny.

It grinned a demented little grin. _Munny…_

* * *

"…And I'm sorry about the time I grabbed the wrong pants after…" Demyx abruptly stopped running.

So did Axel. The red wolf stopped in his tracks, panted for a few seconds before falling over on his side and doing a credible impression of a dead wolf. He was counting on a little rest before going on to bite Demyx's head off, but what happened next was totally uncalled for.

"AXEL!" Demyx was yelling at the top of his lungs. "Something's stealing our munny! Attack!"

Axel, being startled by Demyx's abrupt yell, was now standing on all fours and panting. He whipped his head around to face the stairs so fast, he felt and heard his neck crack. Demyx, for once, was entirely correct. Some freaky shadow thing was sitting on the stairs, clutching the small burgundy leather satchel in between its thumb and index finger, head cocked and blinking dumbly at them.

"What are you waiting for? Attack, Axel! Attack!" Demyx yelled.

At this, the creature abruptly turned tail on the confused pair and retreated towards the dark alley near the Accessory Shop.

There was a moment of silence, unless you happen to count the wind rushing through the streets of Traverse Town. Then Demyx said, "He stole my munny…"

"_Brilliant_ deduction…" Axel growled.

"He _stole_ my _freaking munny_…"

"You're _just_ grasping that concept?"

"Whatever that _thing_ was, it _stole_ my _munny_…"

Axel sighed. If he wasn't gonna get it, it wasn't gonna get it.

Suddenly, the wolf fell to the ground, limbs splayed apart in a most undignified manner. "_Run_, Axel!" Demyx yelled, digging his black gloved hands into Axel's fur and flesh around his neck. "Hunt that thing down and rip it to shreds!"

"_Off me now, Demyx!_" Axel rasped. "_You're crushing… my lungs…_"

Demyx, instead of obliging like any sensible person would, instead kicked Axel in the side with the heel of his boot. _As if I'm a horse…_ Axel thought. "Mush!"

Axel brought all four limbs under him and managed to contort himself into something resembling a standing position. At this, Demyx abruptly fell forwards onto Axel's back, almost crushing him again. "Run, Axel!" This time, Demyx was uncomfortably close to his ear. _There goes the _other_ ear…_ "C'mon! I'm supposed to ride you! It's like in those fantasy books where the hero has a faithful wolf sidekick…"

"Well, news flash, Demyx. You're not in a fantasy book. You're not a fantasy hero, in any sense of the word. And I'm furthermore not your faithful sidekick!"

There was a pause in which Axel was pretty positive Demyx was glaring at him. "Alright… Fine… I'll track whatever it is down…"

Demyx punched the air triumphantly and yelled, "Ookla! Ariel! We ride!"

A pause. "Think you can yell that a _tad_ louder? Don't think the people in Destiny Islands _heard_ you…"

A deep breath on Demyx's part.

"_Don't even think about it…_"

* * *

Axel inwardly wondered if Demyx had packed bricks in his satchel and eaten a pound of wet cement for breakfast as he carried the hyperactive Organization member through Traverse Town. How _else_ would he weigh so damn much! "Axel! Hurry it up!" Demyx kicked Axel's side again. "I wanna get to the hotel before the concert!"

"Do you want to have your _arm_ torn off before the concert?"

"No… Then I wouldn't be able to play the sitar,"

"Then I suggest you stop annoying me,"

There was silence as Axel attempted to press onwards with Cement Butt on his back, and finally reached some stairs. He paused at the top, unsure of whether or not to continue. He cocked a nonexistent (or at least, well-hidden) eyebrow at the task at hand and then grinned evilly. "Hey, Demyx…"

"Yah?"

"Did you know you can lead a cow up a staircase, but not _down _a staircase?"

Demyx paused, obviously thinking. "Yeah. I did know that. Remember when Vexen decided to test that out a few years ago?"

* * *

"_AXEL! DEMYX! Get the hell out of the way!"_

"_Why?" Demyx challenged. "Why do little Demyx and Axel have to make way for big Vexen? I'm _staying_ here!"_

"_MOOOOOOOO!"_

THUD.

_A pause. "Well… now that I _want_ to move and I _can't_…"_

* * *

Axel shuddered. "Yes, I do. But that's beyond the point. You remember that fact, right?"

Demyx's hand involuntarily went to his ribcage. "Well… It's kind of hard to forget when two tons of bovine crashes down the stairs and pins you to the wall for fifteen hours straight…"

"Did you ever think that the same principle might apply to wolves?"

A pause. "No. Wolves are basically dogs. D'you remember Frou-Frou, Larxene's Pomeranian?"

"_Yes_, that thing was a _nightmare_…"

"Well, Frou-Frou went up and down stairs all the time. Mostly upstairs to take a piss in Saïx's room…"

"I remember that's how the stupid thing met its demise…"

"Yup," Demyx nodded. "Frou-Frou, thou art missed,"

"_Not_," Axel growled. "Anyway, did you ever think that wolves just don't _want_ to go down stairs?"

"No…"

"Ever wonder what happens to those macho fantasy heroes when their loyal wolf sidekick decided not to go down stairs?"

"Not really, no. Why?"

At that instant, Axel bucked forward, intending on letting Demyx fly off his back and fall to the cobblestones below them. Now, I must explain something to you, dear readers. Have you ever tried to put shampoo and conditioner in a wolf's fur and then try to get it out without being mauled? Well, let me tell you. This is a hard task. An _extremely_ hard task. In fact, in some worlds there's Extreme Wolf Washing. Yeah. So, given the difficulty of this increasingly rare sport, Demyx never really had time to groom his 'trusty steed'. Given this little factor, Axel's red fur was beginning to get gnarled and ridden with tangles, and thus had given Demyx's grip some help.

So, let us just say that Axel was more than slightly surprised when he felt his paws lift off the ground as Demyx flew forwards down the stairs.

* * *

Axel had never really fallen down the stairs.

Sure, he had his moments. Ones that were embarrassing and those he preferred not to go into. He had gotten himself into this freaking mess, so _that_ was one tally against him. But the affair of being turned into a wolf wasn't _quite_ as embarrassing as this new obstacle brought before him.

He was lying on top of a very disoriented Demyx, both of whom probably had a splitting headache, and both were getting stares from a pair of people on a bench who had—until their fall—been making out. The wolf shook his head to clear his thoughts before attempting to roll over onto his feet, and then focused on getting the basics back in his head.

It would've been something rather like this:

_My name is Axel… I think it's a Tuesday… I haven't been in this much pain since Larxene's 'joyous time of the month'… And… uhhh… I'm still a doggie, aren't I?_

Demyx's sorting-out thoughts don't need to be transcribed; I'm sure you can figure them out on your own.

Well, alright, maybe _one_ thought.

_Issa bunny rabbit!_

"_That_ didn't turn out too good…" Axel muttered and shook himself as if he had been wet.

"It was better than the incident with the cow…" Demyx answered, pulling himself up into a kneeling position. He placed a hand on Axel's back and—using Axel as a balance—pulled himself up into a standing position. "Is that really what happens when wolf riders' wolves don't want to go down the stairs, Axel?"

"I… have no clue… I don't read fantasy much…" the wolf answered truthfully.

"You don't read at all, Axel,"

The wolf shot him a glare and started on its disoriented trek away from Demyx. "Hey, where are you going?"

"Far away from _you_," Axel growled. "You are psychopathic!"

"I am _not_ psychopathic!"

"Why'd you jump on me when you had the chance, then?" Demyx paused uncomfortably. Before Demyx could say anything, he yelled, "You have no _honor_!" He started backing away, a snarl on his face. "You're a disgusting freak! I howl in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!"

Demyx watched as Axel continued to foam at the mouth before muttering, "I _knew_ those Monty Python DVDs were a bad idea for Axel's Christmas present…" He reached into his satchel, took out a dog treat, and approached Axel apprehensively. The red wolf whirled around, wild-eyed and spouting random Monty Python references that he was attempting to pass off as insults. Sad thing was they seemed to be working…

"Hey! What the heck are you doing!" Axel finally figured out that Demyx was coming closer to him with something in his hand. "Don't do anything or I'll rip your face off and—"

_Shove_.

Pause.

"Yay! It's lamb and rice! My favorite!"

From that moment on, no one else in Castle Oblivion (except, of course, Demyx) could figure out why Axel ate lamb and rice dog treats once and a while.

The wolf, now about seventy-five percent happier than he was before, complacently sat next to Demyx, who was trying to figure out where a… whatever the heck that thing was… would be hiding. _Well… One would naturally assume it'd be hiding in the shadows somewhere…_ he thought. So, without a second thought as to what else could be hiding in the shadows somewhere with it, Demyx started off.

* * *

"Soooooo… how goes the expedition?"

Demyx blinked and said, "Well… good news is… I don't think that raccoon was rabid…"

"If you start foaming at the mouth, I want to hold the gun and pull the trigger,"

"You kind of _can't_… No opposable thumbs…"

Axel sighed. "Is there a single solitary activity I can do with_out_ opposable thumbs!"

Pause. "Well… uhhh… there's… uh… well… no, not really… no…"

"Demyx?"

"Yeah?"

"Do us all a really, _really_ big favor and shut up,"

Demyx pouted, to which Axel responded with a snarl. That dissolved into a skeptical look (or as skeptical as a wolf's face can get) before Axel started sniffing around the pavilion. Mixed in with the metallic smell of the lights surrounding the district and the musty stench of rain was the unmistakable scent of leather. The wolf put his nose to the ground and started sniffing fervently, tail wagging slowly as he started on the trail.

Finally, the wolf found what he was looking for: a small, limp sac made out of cow hide. With traces of Demyx's scent on it. So, being the noble wolf he was, he did what any wolf in his situation would have done.

He picked it up in his mouth and started chewing.

This lasted about fifteen seconds, possibly twenty. It lasted until Demyx decided to whap Axel on the head with a rolled-up newspaper. "Bad Axel! Bad! You don't eat things you find on the street! Spit it out _now_, Axel!"

Another whap on the head with that newspaper and Axel spat it out. Demyx wasted no time in picking it up and examining it. Faded, but still there, was a blue biohazard symbol. Obviously one of Demyx's tokens from a concert he attended back when Axel was still human. "It stole my freaking munny! Every single orb!" he finally shrieked upon examining the inside of the sac.

"Does that mean no more bacon?"

Demyx nodded solemnly.

Axel decided to take a page out of Luke Skywalker's book.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

Graah! I said I would be faster in updates but… eh… I've failed you all… I am sorry, first of all, for the delay. Inspiration and Donovan decided to take a vacation in Tahiti and weren't answering their phones. In translation: I had a very bad case of writer's block.

After watching one _Family Guy_ DVD about eighty or ninety times, I decided to get up off my rear and write. After I finished the last chapter, I started this one and it just… kinda sat there. I poked it with a stick, but it didn't quite respond. So… I decided to take some time off…

Anyway, enough with excuses. I don't own KH or Monty Python or Star Wars or whatever. Anything you don't recognize is probably mine. Anything referenced here doesn't belong to me unless stated otherwise… The song Demy was humming is from Disturbed, so it's not mine either. Yup. I couldn't fit in the song lyrics to _Want_ in here, so I had Demy hum them instead…

Maybe I'll have Demy sing _Eye of the Tiger_ next… XD

To the last chapter's supposed _Ghost in the Shell_ reference, I'm not angry. As I said, it _was_ obscure, so… I shouldn't have asked anyone about it… It's the name of the train they rode on: T9. My favorite character from that series is Togusa, and he works for Section 9. Hence, T9.

Review response time! Thanks to all who reviewed and all who even read this fic. Like I said, you guys are the main reasons why I haven't taken this story down.

**Neassa:** I know! I didn't like fighting Demy that much… Although, his appearance in the game—however short-lived—made my day!

**2a2n:** Thanks! And yesh… Axel does kick ass. In more ways than one…

**Kingdom Alchemist:** Yup… Axel is having a miserable time… It's fun though. Probably for Demyx more than Axel, 'cause Axel can't hurt him via fire or chakrams. That is a good point though; Axel probably wouldn't hurt Demy with fire anyway. Chakrams, however, are a different story, ne?

**Not aGeisha Gurl:** Thanks! XD Yup. No fire… Maybe if Axel can borrow a magnifying glass or matches from someone, there might be fire… (shrugs)

**Miss Zen:** Yes, Demy is poetic… You're just jealous, aren't ya, Axel? (Axel: growls)

**Sahxyel:** XD Maybe I'll have that in a later chapter. "No, Demy, I don't wanna play fetch! Ooh, shiny chakram!" (runs after chakram)

**MaraudersForPresident:** OO; _The_ MaraudersForPresident? Wow. I'm _very_ honored. XD You can squish Wolf!Axel anytime you want!

**Lazy Ass Bastard:** I just realized that's grammatically incorrect… Ah, well… If you laughed, I s'ppose that's better!

**koiree:** XD I wish they had plushies of various Organization members as animals… I'd _so_ buy them, even if Axel wasn't a wolf.

**Joseph-ChesCa-the-Damned:** Thanks! Basically, a crackfic is a fiction that you wrote under one of two circumstances: you're entirely bored or acting like your on crack.

I think that's it… If I missed anyone, I'm sorry!

So… until chapter five, I guess. If any of you have any ideas for songs for Demy to sing, please let me know! I was thinking of having Demy sing _Don't Stand So close to Me _by the Police or _Janie's Got a Gun _by Aerosmith. Or _Take on Me_ by A-ha. Yeah… I dunno.

Also, the little shadow creature is anyone you want him to be: Sora, Riku, some random OC you came up with that turned into an anti-version of themselves… whoever and whatever. No one specific. Don't know who I think he/she is yet.

Thank you to Kuro, once again, for being my beta! And writing some pretty funny fics. Go read them; you won't be disappointed.


End file.
